• Managing Matters Inc.

Taking Control of Your Stress

Updated: Jun 3, 2019

We have all been there, stressing out on an important or non-important matter. It could be stressing over an important meeting or dealing with a client. Stress is unavoidable and we all want to manage it better.

In this article you will read some tips and techniques to take control of managing your stress.

But first, do we even know what stress is? And how does it get so bad that we have sleepless nights and twitching eyes?

What is stress?

Stress is a complex condition that involves three different kinds of events:

Stressful Events in Your Environments If you have a funeral, a wedding or even a small event like construction on your street, they could cause a lot of stress. This is because you are confronted with these events whether you like to or not and sometimes you do not have the space for it.

Events in Your Mind as You Try Interpret and Cope with Those Stressors As an effect of these events in your environment, you are going to overthink about them.

Physiological Events in Your Body

This kind of stress, will eventually take a toll on your body. Such as tension in your neck and back or tired eyes.

As a result of stress, we tend to develop some nasty habits that are often hard to break. This blog post will discuss three stress habits which may be secretly affecting your life. They are; deficiency focusing, necessitating and low skill recognition.

Deficiency Focusing

Deficiency focusing is when one focuses on the negatives at the expense of the positives. Deficiency focusing leads to recognizing the problems but does not provide solutions, and does not allow us to enjoy our accomplishment or recognize growth opportunities.

If you are deficiency focusing, you tend to ask the following stress-inducing questions;

What is wrong?

What is wrong with me?

What can go wrong?

BUT you should ALSO ask these balancing questions that will put the situation in context and maybe even lessen the feelings of stress;

What is going well?

What obstacles did I encounter?

What opportunities are present?


Necessitating occurs when we think it is imperative to do something – that we “need to” or “have to” do a certain task.

Necessitating becomes a way in which we place greater demands on ourselves.

If you are necessitating, you tend to ask the following stress-inducing questions;

What do I need to do to avoid disaster? What do I need to do to keep my commitments? What do I need to do to meet others’ demands?

BUT you should ALSO ask these balancing questions;

What would realistically happen if I didn’t to this? What do I want to do? Is there room for negotiation?

Low Skill Recognition

Low skill recognition refers to a tendency to not recognize the role of our own abilities which lead to our successes. Skill recognition is different than arrogance and does not mean placing ourselves above others.

If you have low skill recognition, you tend to ask the following stress-inducing questions;

Whose help did I need?

How lucky was I?

How easy was the task?

BUT you should ALSO ask these balancing questions;

How have I contributed to my success?

What abilities did I show?

In Conclusion

Stress is never a pleasant experience, and if left unmanaged we often develop some nasty habits which lead to asking ourselves what went wrong, instead  of what went well? If we try to make a habit of looking at certain stressful situations from a positive perspective we can continue to foster a positive mental space.

Check out our Instagram for extra tips to control your stress: https://www.instagram.com/managingmatters

To see what our team does in their spare time to relax and unwind check out our Meet the Team Blog Posts #meettheteam : www.managingmatters.com/blog


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Canada's Premiere Association & Event Management Agency

411 Richmond Street East, Toronto, ON, M5A 3S5